There’s a saying, ‘What you see is what you get’ but that’s not a true statement. It’s the things you don’t see, that really defines what you get. The simplest example would be a used car. You’re looking at a nice car. No major bumps or dings. The interior isn’t bad and doesn’t smell like death. Miles are good. Seems to drive fine, so you fork over your hard-earned money. A little over a month later and the car is being towed to a mechanic. Something in the engine broke, now it’s gonna cost hundreds, if not a thousand to fix. Fine. You fix it and two weeks later something else breaks.
The point is, you checked the car out, what you saw was a good dependable car. What you got was a lemon. Guess that other saying, ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ is more applicable.
People are the same way. Some can be lemons. True example. A friend of a friend fell on hard times. She was going through a nasty divorce. Needed to find a job. Had several children and many animals. My friend rented her house to this person, for a cheap monthly payment, after all, they were friends. And when I say they were friends, I’m talking years. So, my friend swings by the rented house to check on her friend and the family. The grass is up to her hips. The pool is greener than the uncut grass. A new dog to add to the three already there, jumps at her. They now have hamsters, which have babies, and cats, and…fleas. OMG the fleas. My friend is furious. Let’s not mention how this person is also late on the rent. So, before my friend can evict the renter, she moves out, kids, and animals went with her. They did leave the fleas. And ruined hardwood floors. And more destruction to the cabinets and walls.
Thousands of dollars later, my friend sells the house, but she can’t understand how her friend could treat her the way she did. How come she didn’t see this person for who she really was? She shouldn’t have allowed this person, who was her friend for YEARS, to do this.
This person, this friend showed the world one side of her. The organized side. The caring side. This is the “above” side. When you first meet someone this is the side both parties show. The above, the seen side, shows a nice person. A responsible person. But after a while, you start seeing the “below” side. This person’s true nature. It’s like dating. You meet someone. You see this person is wearing nice clothes, has a dependable car, and has a good job. MMm. Nice, so far right? Then you go out on a couple of dates and realize this guy is a jerk. He treats the wait staff at a restaurant like crap. He doesn’t have manners and thinks he’s God’s gift to women.
Now, this is when you start to really SEE this person. Something clicks. Your mind puts this person together like a puzzle. The side he shows no longer fits with the hidden side. You now see this person as the jerk he is. Remember, as above so below. What these people hide can now be seen with a naked eye.
Just like you see the car you wasted money on as a bad deal. Being fooled by these people is not your fault. It happens. You learn a lesson and forgive yourself for missing a piece of the puzzle. Sometimes people really hide the ‘below’ very well. Eventually, others will see it too. Now when you look at that person or hear someone else say something about him or her. You shake your head and wonder when will every one else see the truth. I mean, it’s obvious.
It’ll happen. It happened for you. Don’t foster anger at yourself for making mistakes. Move forward.
Be True to Yourself.